


Mess We've Made.

by peachmullets



Series: Just Soulmate Things [2]
Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, I just like to write an angsty jjp fic, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Romance, enjoy??, we r all here for jjp angst anyway so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:35:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27385048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachmullets/pseuds/peachmullets
Summary: Six months after ending their seven-year relationship, Jaebeom and Jinyoung eventually manages to sort out the matters they’ve been holding back against each other.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Series: Just Soulmate Things [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997443
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	Mess We've Made.

**Author's Note:**

> Helloo, this is gonna be the last for a while i think? because I'm going to be busy with uni again ahhgk but hope you enjoy!! :D
> 
> This song got me back on track on finishing writing this fic, so I’ll just share it with you all. Hehe enjoy x

The past few months for Lim Jaebeom was disastrous. He purposely tried to keep himself busy by accepting piles and piles of paper works, leave his office past midnight, hanging out with friends during late night hours; drinking ‘til he sees nothing but pitch black then waking up with a bad hangover in the morning. Along with that, he sometimes meet total strangers and ending up beside them, all tangled in his silk sheets, giving him quick goodbyes in the morning and not see them again. It started out as an encounter that he would never try again, but it turned out to be a habit. A phase he never imagined he would get himself to. 

Jaebeom woke up with the sound of the bird chirping on his windowpane, the light streaking against his satin curtains. Glancing at the clock on his bedside table, bold red numbers flaring at him. 7:35am. He groans at the sight of it, pulled up the duvet he is tangled in and tries to sleep in. Last night was another round of drinks with his friends, Mark and Youngjae. He wasn’t supposed to go since he was just so tired with the photoshoot he had that day, but they insisted he should come since its happy hour and he badly needs to unwind as Youngjae would phrase. A few minutes later, he screeches loudly as he felt his head pounding, vivid flashbacks from last night came prodding like a speed of light. He squinted his eyes shut and pressed the palm of his hands on his eye sockets, hoping it would shrug off. After a while of intense throbbing, he eventually removed himself from the sheets and began his day.

As soon as he was done showering, he made a mental reminder of the things he is supposed to do today. Though not that much compared to what was on his plate recently—from having another product photoshoot then editing photos for a magazine he was freelancing in, he decides to wear his baggy distressed denim jeans lying around the floor, probably haven’t been washed for the past two weeks, as he lazily grabbed a plain black t-shirt sitting neatly atop of his wooden cabinet, a piece of crumpled paper came sliding along with it. Jaebeom checks the content, seeing it was a name written in hangul. Looking at it intently trying to decipher what was written, he suddenly registers the handwriting inked by a black pen. Jinyoung— the name was bold and thick, hangul letters scrawled lazily as if he was rushing. As he lay ahold of the fabric, a certain musky scent was reeking off of it, making his heart wrench. The traces of the expensive men’s cologne he gifted on his birthday still lingering of off it. As if he was just here.  
It has been 6 months, but it just reminds him of the boy that he never imagined would break his heart more than what he is expecting to. The tears, the break downs, the mess he had done in this apartment after he left abruptly, the random texts of _‘i miss you’s’_ while being so intoxicated and other impulsive actions he had done whenever he thinks about that night just came flooding back, sending shivers down his spine. He squints his eyes so hard, wanting to pull them out, with the hopes that it’ll be out of his system, too, but it always haunts him back. 

Because deep in his heart, it was always him. Every fiber of his being is still for Park Jinyoung. 

Jaebeom really can’t figure out exactly how their relationship went downhill. Yes, they would go through playful banters and petty fights as lovers would, but unfortunately, it lasted longer this time around. Before, they would usually just make up, apologize for their mistakes, and live like two teenagers in love again. It was always sorted out, always found a way to mend it. It’s them conquering it all with no exceptions. They just were so happy and contented, as if they’ve found the missing pieces of each other.

However, it just seems that something got off and the spark was gone. Nothing was going right anymore. The usual catch up turns into fighting, the random dinner dates are always shoved off, which made them go too busy with their personal lives, that it made the both of them feel so far from each other as they were accustomed to. Jaebeom began to become so distant, got too much out of himself, late-night drinks had begun to be a usual thing, getting dropped off by cab drivers, leaving Jinyoung worried sick. It just reached its downfall when Jaebeom opened the apartment door one night, after coming back from a usual day at work, seeing Jinyoung looking like his unusual self, rage, and anger flashing right in front of his eyes. 

_“What happe—?” Jaebeom asks, confusion sprawled across his face. Before he could even finish Jinyoung shuts him off. “Tell me this is not true.” he spats, sliding his phone on the countertop towards him. It was a screenshot of a conversation he had with one of his models, an encounter he tried so hard to not make it worse than it already is. It was that one night, a drink with some colleagues, which ended up being more drunk than usual, turning to be a one night stand he genuinely regrets engaging in._

_“Jinyoung,” he breathes, He couldn’t find the right words to say; his mind was whirling, he can’t even think straight. Jinyoung just looks at him sternly, patiently waiting for a response, but Jaebeom can’t seem to give it to him. This is what he is dreading for. He knows what a huge mistake this is and he feels utterly sorry for it. He knows deep in his heart that he loves the man standing in front of him, but he can seem to blurt it out. After a deafening silence, he tries to speak up but Jinyoung interjects. “You know what? Don’t even fucking explain anymore. The proof he is here already. I think I already had my answer.” He spits with such defiance, his ears were red, anger fuming inside him. His eyes were already brimming with tears and he’s trying his best to get ahold of it. He wants to envelop his arms around him apologizing for what he had done, but he just stood there frozen; not even flinching. His heart is pounding so loudly in his chest, he could hear it ringing in his ears._

_“I’m sorry.” is all he can say. “I-I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean for it—“ Jinyoung paces around the room while Jaebeom was speaking, hands on his hair, aggressively tugging chunks of it. He bites his nails as tears were already weeping, trying to wipe it off with his other hand from time to time. Jinyoung pauses for a moment, padded towards Jaebeom then shoved past him, walking towards their shared bedroom. “Jinyoung, please...” He grabbed Jinyoung’s arm tightly, but the younger brushed it off with hostility._

_“Don’t even dare to touch me.” He spats, and strides towards the room. After hearing the cabinets clashing, the bathroom door smashing and a zipper bag closing, Jinyoung eventually came out of the room, with a massive duffle bag, not even batting an eye to Jaebeom._

_He walked past him fixing the strap of his duffle bag hanging by his shoulder. Heaving a deep breath, he look at him by his shoulder. “Don’t even try to come and find me. It’s over.” Jinyoung hisses. His words were thick and heavy, sending daggers into Jaebeom’s heart. He shut the door very loudly, leaving a loud “BANG!” probably making all the neighbors startled. Jaebeom just stood there empty, feeling the cold air breeze in their apartment. There is an eerie sound seeping through he can’t seem to muster, but despite that, he just slack down on the cold flooring, collapsing on his knees, tears he didn’t know were there started flowing down. The emptiness of the room is getting too much for him, a void he isn’t sure if it's going to be filled up again._

_And that was the last time he got ahold of the love of his life._

—  
The day ended as per usual, just talked business all day, had three tiring photoshoots, eating just once to suffice the whole day. His work is not easy and he used to despise it, but after what happened, he now likes to keep it this way. While deliberating and picking the perfect shots for his magazine spread, his phone rings, startling him. He reached out for it, eyes glued on the screen, and ticked on the green button without checking who it was.

 _“Beom-ahhh”_ a shrill voice spoke through the speaker. It took him a few seconds to decipher who it was and gladly he remembered.

“Jackson?” Jaebeom pipes and grins through the phone. It’s been a while since they talked. Ever since that night, Jackson now just frequently rings him up to talk to him and ask how he was, what has he been up to, and some other casual small talk he could come up with. Sometimes Jinyoung comes in mind but he just always replies with “he’s fine beom-ah, don’t worry too much about it.” And that is all the information he could get about him. 

“Uh, I’m wondering if you want to hang out tonight? Bambam prepared some small celebratory dinner because his clothing line got involved in a fashion show held by a big company of some sort.” He inquires, worry seeping out from his voice. Jaebeom snickers. It’s been too long since he last met up with Bambam too, business-aside. However, he’s getting reluctant at the thought of it, knowing that there is a possibility that he would be there too. He may look ready to face him now, but he wasn’t ready to take in what would happen next. But it’s Bambam. They might not get along that much, but he still do miss that boy. Still on working on his computer, staring at the shots he took not until when he saw one of the models starting to morph into Jinyoung’s face, he recognizes Jackson calling out his name. He immediately shrugs and snapped back into reality. 

“Sure, I think I’m free tonight.” He answered without a second glance. He sure misses this bloke even after all that happened between his best friend and him. 

“Great! I’ll see you later at Bambam’s. 8pm alright?” Jackson replies. There is a shifting sound in the background, but he can’t quite picture what it is. He heaves a heavy sigh and checks on his watch. It's half past-six. 

“I’ll be there at 7:59.” He jokes and they both chuckled. “Ah! beom-ah, please.” Jackson pauses. Jaebeom just grins amused at his corny joke. “I’ll see you there ‘lright!” They both bid their goodbyes and Jackson hanged up.

With that thought, he immediately made him think of what to expect later. 

—

Of course Jaebeom is gonna be there a minute before the said time. He’s always true to his words, at least for him. Still wearing the jeans he was in when he went to the office earlier, he changed into his gray, loose-fitting streetwear top then draped on a black denim jacket to look more pulled off and composed. He’s now standing infront of Bambam’s apartment lobby, waiting for Jackson to meet him there. He walked towards the visitor’s area, casually scrolling through his phone while patiently waiting for him to turn up. He was enjoying a clip of cats purring when he noticed a shadow hovered him. His eyes went up to identify who it was; embarrassed at the fact that it saw what he was watching, and surprisingly wasn’t expecting to see a Jinyoung standing infront of him.

“Still fond of watching cat videos in your free time, hyung?” Jinyoung mused. Jaebeom was taken aback at his sudden mockery. He looked at him from head to toe, still wouldn’t believe his eyes. He then got fixated at the crusty white vans he was wearing, the similar ones he had gifted him on their anniversary before the break-up. There was a sudden flip in his heart. It has been six months and it feels surreal to see him now, here in Bambam’s apartment lobby. He still looked the same, though the black under his eyes got a little darker than before. His hair got a little longer too, streaks of auburn hair peeking out his beanie—almost like a mullet. He is wearing a dark gray sweater, paired with denim jeans and those small framed nerdy specs Jaebeom loved so much. 

“It’s been a while,” Jinyoung tells him. The calmness in his eyes makes him agitated. Those deep brown eyes he used to love staring at looked so serene as if there’s no pain inflicting inside of him at all. Jaebeom’s mouth went agape, still finding his train of thought. He’s mesmerized by how he still looks so good despite of what happened between them.  
However, there’s something about it that makes Jaebeom feel guilty that they’re in this situation right now. As the silence went on, the tension brewing between them become stronger. Jinyoung just stared at him, waiting for a response.

“Is it a bad time? or…” He pushes on but Jaebeom immediately shrugged it off. “N—no, It’s fine.” He stuttered. “How are you?” Jaebeom’s response turned out to be more of a whisper. His heart was pounding so fast in the chest, it’s making it hard for him to breathe. He has his hands balled as fists by his sides, refraining his shaky hands from being unsteady. Heck, he doesn’t even know why he’s being like this. It’s only Jinyoung, his best friend, his lover for God knows how long. The Jinyoung, the love of his life making an appearance after all the shit he’d put him through. 

“I’m great, thank you for asking hyung.” He beams, those crinkles forming on the sides of his eyes that he loved so much. “Who are you waiting for here anyway? They’re all upstairs now.” 

“Is that so? I thought Jackson is going to meet me here.” Jaebeom sighs in bewilderment, mentally cursing Jackson for getting him stood up. “He just texted me and he said to come up. Want to go now?” Jinyoung hoisted his phone up, showing that Jackson indeed texted him. Jaebeom’s eyebrows furrowed, keeping himself composed and keeping it all in before he would bust Bambam’s apartment door and punch the hell out of Jackson for putting him in here. But, Jaebeom thinks, this is the best opportunity for them to finally get into their senses and sort the mess they’ve made. Right now, while the two of them are sober enough to spill their feelings and accept whatever consequence that lies ahead of them. 

“C-can we go later?” Jaebeom stammers. Deep in his heart, he knows Jinyoung would probably disagree with this, knowing he got off guard with his sudden proposal. He rubs the back of his neck, feeling uneasy, but still hoping for a positive reaction from him. 

“Why?”

“I want to talk to you.” Jinyoung just snickers at him. Jaebeom just looked at him intently with pleading eyes, but Jinyoung just shook it off, still staring at him. 

“What for?” Jinyoung scoffs. “I think I already had my answer six months ago, hyung.” His words were thick and biting, it made Jaebeom feel a sting piercing through his heart. 

“No. There’s more than that.” He insists. Jinyoung just gave him a timid smile and started to walk towards the elevator when Jaebeom grabbed his arms, sending shivers to his body. He was always been sensitive with his touch as if it is bringing him electricity all over his body. The younger was about to pull himself away from his grip, but Jaebeom gripped on it tighter, not letting go. 

“Can we please not talk about it here? It’s Bambam’s night, I don’t want it to be ruined because of whatever angst we have between us.” Jinyoung spits out, making Jaebeom be taken aback by his words. His eyes twitched at the words he spewed out, making jerk his grip at him. Jinyoung continued walking to the elevator door, keeping Jaebeom alone, just watching him slowly disappear from his sight. 

—  
As soon as Jaebeom stepped inside the Bambam’s upscale apartment, he was bombarded with hollers and quips from random strangers, some from Bambam’s friends he isn’t fully aware of. He squeezed through the people exchanging conversations along with the loud music blasting from the speakers. The apartment was vast, very minimalistic for Jaebeom’s liking. Pristine white walls that match the black furniture, gold chandeliers illuminating around the apartment looking so sophisticated. As enters further, drinks were sprawled on the kitchen top, bottles sprawled across the floor. They’ve been drinking for quite some time now, he supposes. Trying to find a familiar face to cling onto, his thoughts were suddenly punctuated when he felt a cold, wet bottle tapping his forearm. He saw Jackson looking at him with soft eyes and thin smile, almost like a Pokemon, as their other friends would tease. He was holding two bottles of beer with one hand. Jaebeom looked at him sternly as the thought of what he did earlier came flooding back. 

“I’m sorry, beom-ah. I got lost in the moment, I forgot that I’m supposed to meet you at the lobby.” Jackson yells at Jaebeom’s ear with apologetic eyes. He just scoffs at his friend, stroking some of the wetness from the drink. “I also didn’t expect that he would be here.” He rambles on, now concerned by the way Jaebeom was looking at him. He then flinches at the mention of him, refraining from letting himself get consumed with it. 

“Yeah, don’t bother.” He shrugs. He grabs the bottle shaking from his grip and took a chug. Jackson already knew about what happened earlier, he assumes. And now he doesn’t want to talk about it nor relive the embarrassment he felt earlier. Jackson just frowns as he gets the drink from his hand. “I mean, he said he’ll try but I didn’t he was that keen with it.” Jackson explains, but Jaebeom remained emotionless. At this moment, he became more infuriated at everything that is happening—from getting stood up to Jinyoung’s rejection. But Jackson doesn’t seem to notice the shift from his demeanor. 

“He wasn’t in the mood too when he stepped in here, y’know.” Jackson tells him and he just looked at him. “That’s why I know.” He presses on and sips a drink from the bottle. “Where are the others?” He inquires and Jackson just averted his eyes through the balcony, where all of them were standing, drinks in hand. His eyes fell on the man wearing that dark gray sweater, sharing melodious laughter with Bambam across the room. 

Jackson pulled his arm, bringing him to the balcony to meet his them. As soon as they approached, Bambam greeted him, that sly smile radiating off him. He smiles back. “How’s it going hyung?” He slurs, intoxicated with the drink he’s holding. The figure beside him was quiet, averting his gaze. “Congratulations on that fashion show, Bam-ah. You deserve it.” He chirps, making Bambam bow at him. 

“Thanks hyung!” He beams. The gold specs falling off the bridge of his nose. He was about to say something more when Yugyeom hollered at him. “I’ll be back in a second okay, indulge yourselves.” He apologizes and disappears through the crowd. Jinyoung was still standing in front of him, not omitting a word. He turns around, avoiding the older’s gaze as he looks at the vast horizon with city lights gleaming while taking a drink. “Jinyoung-ah! I missed you!” Jackson made some kiss-y sounds, making Jinyoung fall off his trance, giggling. He leaned against the railing, patting him at the back trying so hard to brush off the awkwardness seeping through the atmosphere. Jaebeom just sighs, trying to walk away when Jinyoung’s voice filled the deafening space. 

“Jaebeom.” His voice was deep and raspy. He sips a drink from the beer he is holding while still looking from afar. Jackson leaves the balcony, moving away to talk to the man who has been eyeing him for quite some time now. Jaebeom walked towards him and stood beside him, taking a sip from the bottle he’s holding too. 

“Was I ever not enough?” His voice was soft and trembling. Jaebeom looked at him with earnest eyes, rubbing the pad of his hand which Jinyoung quickly shoved inside the hole pocket of his hoodie. He looked up, noticing the stars glistening in the dark sky. “All I did was love you. And in return, I got this?” He exasperated and looks at him for once then back at the black space. “Seven years, beom. We’ve been together for seven years and this is all I get? Getting cheated on? What did I do for you to betray me?” He paused. His voice was already cracking and tears were forming. He heaves a deep breath as he’s trying his best not to break down in front of him. Being vulnerable is the least thing Jinyoung wants to do now. “I guess I got too consumed with my anger? My past? My ego being stepped on?”

Jaebeom was quiet. He was just staring at him the whole time; enduring the pain Jinyoung was bottling up in the past six months. He doesn’t know how to respond; he wants to say how much he was sorry for causing him this pain, but the right words won’t seem to come out of his mouth. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for putting you in this position Jinyoung-ah.” Jaebeom breathes, mustering the courage not to cry at this point. “I’ve been such a coward, I know. Trying to divert this mess we’re going through for my own.” He leans at the railing while trying to look at Jinyoung. The younger just looked out of his zone—a million thoughts running through that head of his. He missed looking at him this way as if they’re the only people in this world. He missed holding his hand, kissing him with every bit of him, letting him feel the love he is supposed to feel because he deserves it. But more importantly, he missed the way how he showered Jinyoung with so much affection and love. 

To be frank, Jaebeom doesn’t know how all of this mess they’re in right now started. They really just lost contact, their closeness drifting away. Feeling the cold emptiness when in fact they should be filling each other up. But they were too consumed by pride, letting everything they built slip off their fingers. Did he tired of Jinyoung? He could’ve been at some point, but it won’t be in the long run. He entered this relationship, risking everything for him and he is a hundred percent sure giving up is not included in the vocabulary. But what did sparked him to let himself indulge in something that would betray him? He can’t help the tears from falling as he keeps on thinking about it. He rubs a tear falling with his palm when Jinyoung placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry too, Jaebeom.” Jinyoung mutters, fidgeting the cotton at the edge of his hoodie. “I’ve been too selfish. I always thought about my feelings first rather than your own. I was too full of myself that I didn’t think about yours.” He rants on, trying so hard to fight his tears from falling. Jaebeom just hugs him by the side caressing his forearm.

“Every night after we separated, I always asked myself if I get too much or I rub myself too much on you that you get suffocated and that you just don’t want me anymore… That you don’t want to be with me anymore. I overthink about it a lot that it kills me inside. Everything just suddenly went falling apart, hyung. Like everything we built…. Just crippled down like a wrecking ball crashing on it.” Jinyoung seethes and looks up, mentally laughing at his correlation. He is reprimanding himself for making that up despite of what they’re currently in. Jaebeom softly chuckles at his joke too, easing the atmosphere for a while. “And then I saw the conversation.” He sternly continues, pressing his lips tight. “Seeing that, and with our situation, I was already so convinced that you’re already giving up… That you don’t want me anymore.” He whimpers.

“That’s why I just closed all of my doors, refrained from hearing any of your explanations anymore and left.” Jinyoung rambles on and tears continued falling down. Jaebeom just hugs him tight, tears were already flowing. Every ounce of his being was trembling; all he wants to do is to find a way to ease the pain he caused to him. “I’m so sorry, Jinyoung-ah. I’m so, so sorry.” He murmurs, hugging him tighter. “I’m so sorry that I broke your trust on me. I was so devoured during those times and being in this cold got the best of me. I got too selfish that it came to the point I was hurting you twice as this is hurting me.” He uttered. 

“Please believe me when I say that I never gave up on you. nyoung-ah. I love you, Jinyoung. So much.” He rambles on, ruffling his hair with gentle strokes, as Jinyoung leaned on his shoulder feeling his warmth. The absence of him made Jaebeom feel so lost, so alone. But now, here again with each other’s arms, it all feels like the world conspired and brought their hearts together once again. 

“I—I love you too, hyung. Sorry that I left that easily.” Jinyoung mumbles, hugging Jaebeom tighter. Jaebeom faces him and cups his cheeks, intently looking at him full of guilt and remorse. He never wants to see him in this state again. “Will you trust me again, nyoung-ah?” He whispers, lips almost touching. Jinyoung just looked at him with those serene eyes, breath hitching. Jinyoung nods, staring at Jaebeom’s black, cat-like eyes, pursing his lips as if he’s just waiting for his mouth to clash on his.

“I won’t let go. I swear on that.” Jaebeom pulls him close smashed his mouth on Jinyoung’s, fulfilling the emptiness that had been uninhabited for past six months. The kiss was full of longing, demanding to be touched and be filled once again. Hearts pounding so loud among their chest. Jaebeom breaks away for a fleeting moment, panting and catching their breaths. Jinyoung smiled, making him feel all woolly inside. He carefully brushes his thumb on Jinyoung’s pink and plump bottom lip. 

“I won’t let go.” Jaebeom mumbles. The older then cupped his hands on the younger’s neck, kissing him once again, deeper and hungrily. Jaebeom’s hands were gently caressing the small of Jinyoung’s back, enough to make him feel safe and warm. Jinyoung smiles during the kiss, enough to make Jaebeom kiss him harder. And with that, their own little world that was once defaced became one again.

**Author's Note:**

> *stares* the dread I’ve went through if i can manage to pull this off.. ahh but I hope I did ;___;
> 
> i knooow i got too caught up with it and wrote it longer than I was expecting to Also, the song ended sad, but I want it to have a happy ending hahahaha hnggg tell me your thoughts!!!


End file.
